Transcript

Blessed Are The Peacemakers

Matthew 5:9
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Pastor Randy Smith

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Years ago, a large statue of Christ was erected high in the Andes on the border between Argentina and Chile. Called "Christ of the Andes," the statue symbolizes a pledge between the two countries that as long as the statue stands, there will be peace between Chile and Argentina. But shortly after the statue was erected, the Chileans began to protest that they had been slighted for the statue had its back turned to Chile. Just when tempers were at their highest, a Chilean newspaperman saved the day. In an editorial that not only satisfied the people but also made them laugh, he simply said, "The people of Argentina need more watching over than those in Chile."

There are only two ingredients needed for a conflict: people and a problem.

So unless you empty the world of every human being or go into recluse like a hermit, you are bound to have interpersonal conflict. Regardless of where you live or with whom you choose to associate, you will have problems with others based upon your different insights, different values and different perspectives. But most of all, the leading factor that contributes to our problems with others is the reality that we are all sinners. And the closeness in our relationship combined with the duration of the relationship only increase the potential for us to inflict harm upon another.

Conflict is bound to occur, but possibly nothing fuels the conflict more than our chiefest sin - personal pride. Pride has the distinct ability to: magnify the offense of others while minimizing our own. Judge motives and imagine people more evil than they really are. Defend our own rights and perspectives at any cost. And amplify our own hurt while failing to see the pain in others. Ever seen these things in others? How rarely do we see them in ourselves. Bottom line, pride hates those verses that call us to: "Give preference to one another" (Rom. 12:10), "Regard one another as more important than (our)selves" (Phil. 2:3), and "Clothe (our)selves with humility toward one another" (1 Pet. 5:5).

We don't need to turn on the television to see wars and riots; we are surrounded by conflict in our own homes and churches. We have all been hurt by conflict. Yet this morning through God's Word we are given a message of hope.

So this Communion Sunday I would like take a break from Titus and address a subject that is very near and dear to all of us. First I would like to provide a brief overview on the nature of conflict. Then I would like to provide some practical steps that will help you resolve conflict God's way in the home, in the church and in the workplace. The goal is reconciliation- replacing hostility and separation with peace and friendship.

Let's begin. First we must understand that our conflict begins in our rebellion against God. In our battle for supremacy we as humans resist any notion of submission to the lordship of our Creator. We rebel against any restraints. We may be religious, but the commitment that calls for us to put God first is the farthest thing from our human hearts. As Romans 1 teaches, "(We have) exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator" (Rom. 1:25). All humans have erected a wall of separation. And due to this separation, God is at enmity with all mankind.

But in the midst of this separation between enemies, God brought reconciliation. As we sing this time of the year, "Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled" (Hark the Herald Angels Sing). How did this happen? The Scriptures say, "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8). And "Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God" (1 Pet. 3:8).

In needing to restore the relationship, God took the initiative to bring peace between Himself and us. And this peace was achieved by sending the ultimate Peacemaker, Jesus Christ (Lk. 2:14), to remove our sins through His death on the cross. In the Old Testament we read, "All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him" (Isa. 53:6). Reconciliation between God and us is now possible since the sin was removed by God's own selfless act. The Bible says Christ came "to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross" (Col. 1:20; cf. Eph. 2:16; Ac. 10:36). God has made peace with Him available to those who have faith in Jesus Christ.

As Christians we have received Christ and have entered in to the full benefit of His work. We of all people should understand and appreciate the need for peace. We of all people should actively and sacrificially pursue peace. We of all people should act like Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace (Isa. 9:6) and reveal the Holy Spirit's fruit of peace (Gal. 5:22). We of all people should be peacemakers and thus imitate our heavenly Father Himself (Eph. 5:1). As the Beatitude states, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" (Mt. 5:9).

Now the way I see it, there are three areas where we as Christians need to pursue peace.

First, and ultimately, we need to assist others in making peace with God. We simply do that by sharing the Gospel and giving others the opportunity to trust Jesus Christ and have their sins removed (Rom. 10:15). As ambassadors for Christ, God has given us this ministry of reconciliation as we urge the enemies of God to turn to Jesus for forgiveness (2 Cor. 5:18-20).

A second way we act as peacemakers is to help restore the interpersonal conflicts we observe in relationships around us. When we become aware of enmity, especially amongst Christians, we should feel compelled to step in-between the conflict and seek to do all we can to bring peace. This was Paul's heart when he wrote in Philippians, "I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord" (Phil. 4:2). Conflict in the church should break our hearts as much as it does God's.

A third way we must act as peacemakers, and this is the one I wish to focus on this morning, is by doing everything we can to resolve the conflicts we are personally experiencing in our own lives.

We often fail to understand that God is extremely concerned as to how we treat our conflicts. Do we see them as opportunities for spiritual growth and maturity? Are we willing to follow the Bible in seeking reconciliation? Will we seek peace even at the expense of being uncomfortable with confrontation, possible misunderstanding and attack, and an assault to our pride when others may reveal our sins in return? Will we value the relationship more than the disagreement? Do we realize that resolving conflict is not an option but rather a requirement from our Lord?

So serious about maintaining peace in our relationships, Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount gave us the following command. "Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering" (Mt. 5:23-24).

Notice that these verses teach us that our worship is unacceptable until we have made peace with another brother or sister in Christ. They also teach us that it is our responsibility to seek out another even if we are fine but understand the individual may have something against us. Did you catch that? It doesn't matter how you may assess a given relationship. If a fellow believer claims to have a problem with you, you must do everything in your power to restore the situation. Jesus is serious about reconciliation! Therefore such radical action to bring peace, according to Jesus, takes precedence over worship.

Ken Sande in his popular book, The Peacemaker, said, "(We must) seek reconciliation with a brother (or sister) even ahead of worship! (Jesus) teaches that we cannot love and worship God properly if we are at odds with another person and have not done everything in our power to be reconciled (p. 49). Sande goes on to say, "Christians (must) agonize for peace and unity. Obviously, token efforts and halfhearted attempts at reconciliation fall far short of what Paul had in mind (when he said in Ephesians 4, 'with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace)'" (Eph. 4:2-3 - p. 52).

Now, obviously peace in any relationship is a two-way street, but that should not prevent us from doing everything we can to bring resolution and restoration. As Paul told the church in Rome, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." We should aggressively pursue peace until we feel God telling us to back off affirming us that we have done everything within our ability.

Unfortunately, most people have no idea how to resolve their conflicts. In my ten years as a pastor, I believe the church acts almost exactly like the world in these matters. With that said, I would like to conclude this sermon focusing on the incorrect and the correct means to resolve interpersonal conflict. Although there will be some overlap from our previous Sunday school lesson for many of you, I have no problem covering this material once again by way of reminder.

Please at this time reach in you bulletin and pull out the brochure entitled: The Peacemaker - Responding to Conflict Biblically.

As you fully open the brochure you can see that there are basically two wrong ways to deal with conflict. These are the worldly, unbiblical ways to respond to our problems.

In the blue box in the lower left hand corner you see what are entitled, "Escape Responses." The top caption says, "People tend to use escape responses when they are more interested in avoiding or getting away from a conflict than in resolving it." Remember that God's peace never evades an issue.

As you can see one escape response is denial. Denial means we basically try to pretend the conflict doesn't exist. We imagine there is no problem. Possibly we ignore the problem altogether. But in sweeping things under the carpet, we usually make the matters worse.

Another escape response is flight. This is running away from the situation. Ending the friendship, quitting the job, filing for divorce or leaving the church. Though there might be a need (and biblical permission) to remove ourselves from a situation, this should only come when we have exhausted all our attempts to die to self and resolve the conflict. Our running away in an act of selfishness hurts others. It also hurts us as well because our problems will follow us around until we are prepared to deal with them biblically. Flight is a cowardly way to avoid the self-sacrifice that comes from being a true peacemaker.

The third and ultimate way we escape our conflicts is through the king of selfish acts - suicide. Thoughts of suicide come when we believe we have lost all hope. It is distrust in the goodness and sovereignty of God. It is obviously the ultimate way to run away from our problems in this life.

Another way we wrongly deal with conflict, also rooted in pride, is found in the red box in the lower right hand corner. These are called "Attack Responses." Attack responses come when people are more interested in winning the conflict than preserving the relationship. Escape responses are more passive, while attack responses are more offensive in nature. In attack responses aggression is taken in a fight to overcome.

The first attack response is assault. When things are not going our way with another we have a tendency to use various forms of force or intimidation that range from verbal attacks (like gossip and slander) to outright physical violence. These sinful efforts that attempt to destroy another person seek to feed our pride and execute revenge for the hurt we have received.

The second attack response is litigation. If we cannot win our battles alone we seek to get others through the courts to resolve our differences. Litigation, as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 6 is an insult and embarrassment to the church and thus must be avoided amongst believers (1 Cor. 6:1-8).

Finally, when we have exhausted all attempts to attack another person, in extreme cases, we may wish to remove such an individual from this world. That is why we have murderers. And though many of us would never dream of pulling the trigger, how often have we harbored anger in our hearts toward another or wish such a person was no longer in our lives? You know in God's eyes this is synonymous to murder (Mt. 5:21-22).

The six responses I have just covered are all unbiblical and thus dishonoring to God and destined for failure. But it is any combination of these six responses that we often observe with others or in our own lives when we experience interpersonal conflict.

I think most people do not know of any other way to resolve conflict. So permit me now to reveal God's method, the most effective method, for resolving conflict. The wrong ways are all centered in pride. The right way, God's way, is centered in humility and sacrifice, no different than His effort to reconcile us through the cross. Aren't we thankful God didn't use escape or attack responses with us!

The white box in the upper right hand corner says, "A true peacemaker is guided, motivated, and empowered by the gospel, the good news that God has forgiven all our sins and made peace with us through the death and resurrection of His Son. Through Christ He has also enabled us to break the habit of escaping from conflict or attacking others, and He has empowered us to become peacemakers who can promote genuine justice and reconciliation."

As true peacemakers we basically have two biblical responses the moment we are offended or sinned against by another person.

One (as you can see in the brown box located in the center of the page) is we can choose to overlook the offense. Overlooking the offense means we drop the situation and refuse to dwell upon it, talk about it or allow it to grow into pent-up bitterness. Overlooking an offense means we do not overreact to minor issues and create a federal case every time we are offended. Since we should not be eager to point out another's faults, overlooking an offense is highly commended in Scripture (Pr. 10:11; 17:14; Eph. 4:2; 1 Pet. 4:8).

But if the offense is dishonoring to God or damaging to our relationship with the person or hurting others or the offender, we must choose the second option and speak to the individual in person as commanded in Matthew 18. And if personal attempts to resolve the differences one-on-one are ineffective, then we should employ the assistance of others such as mediation or arbitration as seen in the other headlines in the brown box entitled "Peacemaking Responses." Again, the bottom line is that we should do all we can to mend our differences, resolve our conflict and restore our relationships.

As one pastor said, "The mark of community - true biblical unity - is not the absence of conflict but the presence of a reconciling spirit." With that, permit me to provide some general principles that will promote a reconciling spirit and assist you to become a God honoring peacemaker.

1. Remember the principle, "Small as possible for as long as possible." If you have a problem with someone else, keep it between you and the other individual. The Scriptures call you to go to the other person in private (Mt. 18:15). By all means avoid gossip and slander and complaining with others.

2. If you cannot overlook an offense, deal with the situation as soon as possible. Do not let the sun go down on you anger (Eph. 4:26). I can remember the time a man came to me and said my words offended his wife. I told him I didn't remember my comment, but I would be glad to apologize for my actions. When I asked him how long ago the incident occurred, he told me about a year ago. My friends, holding a wrong against someone that long is deadly to your own heart!

3. Remember the goal of your meeting is not condemnation, but restoration. Therefore come to the individual who offended you believing the best. Ask the person if you misunderstood the situation. Hear the other side of the story (Pr. 18:17). Submit questions for clarification. Don't overreact. Prefer the other person. Confess your own sin. Find a point of agreement. Humbly work together to resolve the offense and restore the relationship. As Spirit-filled Christians both of you should want what God wants which is peace and unity.

4. Conduct yourself in a way that is Christlike. Pray and think before you speak (Pr. 15:28). Be gentle and compassionate with your words (Pr. 15:1). Listen more than you talk (Pr. 18:13). Be patient with the other person. Breathe grace. Follow the golden rule. Use the ultimate weapon of love. Be wise using the mind of Christ. How about James 3? "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace" (Jas. 3:17-18).

These days we really do not know how to resolve conflict biblically.

The story is told about two men who lived in a small village and got into a terrible dispute that they could not resolve. They decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage's home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, "You are absolutely right." The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, "You are absolutely right." Afterward, the sage's wife scolded her husband. "Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That's impossible - they can't both be absolutely right." The sage turned to his wife and said, "You are absolutely right" (David Moore, Vital Speeches of the Day).

Few even in the church know how to resolve conflict biblically. Escape and attack responses are sin. God wants us to be peacemakers. So we must be prepared to confront our problems with others in a way that brings honor to God and preserves the relationship. It is a call to self-sacrifice. It is a call to humility. It is a call to put others before ourselves so peace will prevail. For in doing so says the Beatitude we will be blessed and we will be known as the sons of God by reflecting the reconciling character of our heavenly Father.