Ten Steps To A Healthy Relationship With God

James 4:7–10
Sunday, June 23, 2019
Pastor Randy Smith

All things in this world are evaluated by others . Some do it with the wrong motives. Some do it by a faulty standard. Some do it with integrity. Like it or not, we live in a world where everything and everybody is “sized up” so to speak. What does a successful marriage look like? A successful home? A successful President? A successful sports team? You get the idea. In the minds of many, we are rating everything from poor to excellent with dozens of points in-between.

So what makes for a successful church? Ask most people and it’s often based on “nickels and noses.” Do you know what that means? Nickels – how much money is placed in the offertory each Sunday morning. Noses – how many people are coming out on Sunday morning. Based upon “nickels and noses” we are a minimum 9 out of 10. We are doing very well. And these two statistics are very important. But are they a good indication of a quality church? Hold that thought.

I have enjoyed lifting weights ever since I began high school. For decades I only worked the “beach muscles” as they are affectionately called. You know, the muscles that look good on the outside – shoulders, biceps, chest, etc. Unfortunately, as I got older, I began to have physical problems because the “big muscles” were getting bigger, but the “little muscles” (the core of my body) were being neglected. The foundational stabilizing muscles were weak.

Nickels and noses in a church are like the “glam muscles.” They are important, but they can be a poor indicator and often deceiving factor because of their outward appearance. They can disguise the foundational and stabilizing muscles that really work to uphold a healthy church.

This past week I had some long talks with the staff pastors on this specific subject. Why are there people in the church not serving? How can we create a stronger community? What new ministries should we start? What existing ministries should we end? Are people benefitting from the sermon preparation videos and audio podcasts? What can we do around here to keep things fresh without it being superficial? How are we impacting the world and our community with the Gospel? We all desire a successful church.

Yet as important as all of that is, a strong Christian church will only come from strong Christian families – families that know how to prioritize their relationship with the local church. Those are the ultimate stabilizing muscles. And strong Christian families will only come from strong individual believers. Healthy Christians produce healthy families; healthy families then produce healthy churches. Regardless of our planning, programs and policies, we will never be the healthy church God wants us to be unless each one of you has a healthy relationship with Christ.

So today with the time remaining I would like to present ten steps to a healthy relationship from God. I will get all of these from James 4:7-10

Just to set the context from James 4, God wants us to have an intimate relationship with Him. He wants to be first not above all that we love, but first in all that we love. He wants our ultimate loyalty whereby we find our ultimate joy in Him. Anything less, verse 4, is spiritual adultery. It is, verse 4, “hostility toward God.” And He is grieved, verse 4 when we love the world (the system that opposes Him) more than we love Him. Verse 5, He is jealous for our love. He gives us all we need to have a healthy relationship with Him. It’s called, verse 6, “grace.” And if we want this grace, verse 6, we need to forsake our pride and be humble.

So how do we humble ourselves to get God’s grace so we can cultivate this healthy relationship with God based on His terms of success? Let me give you ten imperatives from James 4:7-10.

1. Submit To God

First and foremost, the pathway to humility is seen in verse 7. We are called to “submit therefore to God.”

“Submit” – the compound word in the original Greek (“hupotasso”) literally means “put in order under.” So submitting to God means placing ourselves under the lordship of Jesus Christ. It is simply getting real with God and acknowledging that He is our ultimate authority and that doing it His way is the proper way to go through life. He is the boss. And though such a concept grates likes fingernails across the contemporary chalkboard, putting God at even a close second is idolatry and pride. Remember, grace comes to the humble and the humble have relinquished control and have acknowledged God’s rightful ownership over their lives.

2. Resist The Devil

So we need grace. Grace comes to the humble. If we desire to be humble we must submit to God. As we move to the second point, James will now specifically unpack how we submit to God. Still in verse 7 he says, “Resist the devil.”

Before you became a Christian your old lord was the devil. Jesus actually said he was your father (Jn. 8:44). You were a pawn in his diabolical games. Whether you realized it or not, your submission was directed to him.

But now thanks to God’s grace you can be victorious. Your eyes have been opened to a whole new perspective. The Bible warns us of the devil’s destructive nature (1 Pet. 5:8). It tells us we can be aware of his schemes (2 Cor. 2:11). And it encourages us that we can emerge from his attacks victorious. It is hand-to-hand spiritual conflict, but when we arm ourselves with the weapons God provides like truth and righteousness and the gospel and faith and salvation and the Scriptures and prayer (the spiritual armor of Eph. 6:14-18), we can stand firm (Eph. 6:11, 13, 14).We can be victorious. We can resist our ancient foe.

And look what happens when we resist him! According to verse 7, he flees! There is nothing here about casting out demons or memorizing certain chants that need to be repeated to Satan. It is simply submitting to God and not falling for the temptations of the evil one. Stand firm using the Word of God! Eventually, the Bible promises us he gives up, he flees, he leaves us just like he did Jesus during the temptation in wilderness (Mt. 4:11).

Remember this beloved, Satan was already conquered at the cross (Jn. 12:31). And though he still is powerful for the short time he has remaining, his power is only as strong as the power we permit him to have in our lives.

So for starters we must submit to God and resist the devil. My friends, how often do we do the opposite? How often do we submit to the devil and resist God?

3. Draw Near To God

Moving on, number three, we care called in verse 8 to “draw near to God.”

Our hearts draw after so many things. But God wants them to draw after Him, to pursue His face through righteous living. He wants us to forsake our love affair with the world. He wants our hearts before He wants our words and actions (cf. Isa. 29:13; Mt. 15:18). He wants communion with us. He wants us to want that communion with Him.

Good examples are found in the Psalms: “O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water” (>Psm. 63:1). “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God” (Psm. 42:1). “My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the Lord” (Psm. 84:2).

And look at what happens when we draw near to God. At the end of verse 8 He promises to draw near to us. So do you want a pure relationship with God? Do you want the world and the devil out of your life? Then resist Satan and pursue God and God will come closer. This is the cure for spiritual adultery. And this is the remedy to have a vibrant and deep and growing relationship with your spiritual husband, Jesus Christ. So the best test to see how much you want God is seen in how much you are committing yourself to Him. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (Jas. 4:8). Kent Hughes said in his commentary, “Inch toward God and He will step toward you. Step toward God, and He will sprint toward you. Sprint toward God, and He will fly toward you” (James, p. 187).

Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Revelation 3:20, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.”

4. Cleanse Your Hands

The intensity picks up as will our pace. Number four, still in verse 8, “Cleanse your hands, you sinners.”

This is a call for radical repentance. In the Old Testament clean hands were a symbol of moral purity (Job 17:9; Psm. 18:20). The priests were commanded to cleanse their hands before offering sacrifice again as an outward symbol of their outward purity (Ex. 30:18-21). God spoke to Israel through Isaiah, “So when you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide My eyes from you; Yes, even though you multiply prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are covered with blood. Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight” (Isa. 1:15-16). Even in the New Testament there is a reference to “lifting up holy hands” in prayer (1 Ti. 2:8). What we are talking about here is a figure of speech that calls for external righteousness.

5. Purify Your Hearts

If the fourth point talks about external righteousness, the fifth point talks about internal righteousness. Verse 8, “Purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

As Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Mt. 5:8). Contrast a pure heart (Mt. 5:8) with a “double-minded” heart (Jas. 4:8; cf. 1:8). Either our heart is going for God or it is going for the things that oppose Him. Either Jesus is our King or someone else like the devil or yourself is the king. Either we are in the Spirit or we are living in the flesh. Either we love God or we love the world. God is too glorious to accept “double-mindedness.”

The point of number four and five? Humble are people committed to both inner and outer purity. God will only meet with such individuals. This is how we “draw near to God” (Jas. 4:8). Psalm 24 puts it all together, “Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord? And who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart” (Psm. 24:3-4).

6. Be Miserable

Numbers six, seven and eight are often confusing to many readers of the Bible. They all teach one general concept. In verse 9 we read, “Be miserable and mourn and weep.” Aren’t we called to “rejoice in the Lord always” (Phil. 4:4)? Isn’t Christianity supposed to be a religion of joy? Of course that is true, but we must consider these three commands in the context of the letter.

We have seen that the people to whom James wrote were marked with sin. And the heart of their sin was arrogance and selfishness and pride. Such a spirit is the total opposite of humility. And therefore such a spirit because of what it does to the heart of God should bring the individual extreme disappointment. Misery…mourning…weeping.

I think back to the days when I coached. I had no problem if the athletes played their best but we lost the game. But if we lost because of mental mistakes, lack of effort or poor discipline it was quite another story. Few things would bother me more than to witness this effort on the field and then see the players in the locker room jovial. Shouldn’t there be some shame and embarrassment?

How much more should this attitude apply to God?

Frequently these commands are seen in the Old Testament when the prophets called God’s people to repentance (Isa. 15:2; Hos. 10:5; Mi. 2:4).

“Be miserable.” This is that sick feeling we should get inside when we know we have broken God’s heart through our disobedience. It is no different than that feeling a child receives when she or he deliberately lets a parent down after the parent has shown great love for the child.

7. Mourn

Number seven, “mourn.”

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Mt. 5:4). We mourn over so much from the death of a loved one to a loss from a sport’s team to the weather. But how often do we mourn over our sin? You see, sin grieves God and therefore it should grieve us because we know how much it grieves Him. We know how much Jesus needed to suffer for it on the cross?

8. Weep

Number eight, “weep.”

Again, another product of godly sorrow. I think of the extreme pain the apostle Peter brought upon himself when he denied Jesus Christ. The Bible says we went out and wept (Mk. 14:72).

9. Laughter To Mourning And Joy To Gloom

Number nine in verse 9 is more of the same. “Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.”

Again, laughter and joy are special gifts from the Lord. What is being condemned here is the carefree, trivial, flippant, pleasure-driven, God-ignoring attitude of the world (cf. Lk. 6:25b). And as we see here, even Christians can slip into this state when we pursue a friendship with the world and presume upon God’s grace and mercy. There is a seriousness that God expects toward Himself from His people and too often we act no different than the world. We settle for a counterfeit joy. We act as if sin in insignificant, and we live as if God is non-existent.

All these commands are along the lines of what we see in the Bible to be broken and contrite over our sin. And I must add that all these commands are the evidence of a soft and humble heart. These states of emotion are not end results. Rather they are there temporarily to produce repentance (2 Cor. 7:9-11), which results in a renewed relationship with God (1 Jn. 1:9), which leads ultimately to true joy and true peace.

10. Humble Yourself

Lastly, number ten found in verse 10: “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” Jesus made the same statement: “Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted” (Mt. 23:12).

The section started in verse 6 with God only giving grace to the humble and now like a bookend the section promises that God will exalt those who humble themselves in His presence. It is simply this: Recognize who you are in God’s presence. Contemplate your spiritual bankruptcy. Acknowledge your need for God’s help. Submit your life to His lordship.

Beloved, please remember, God is not against you pursuing joy. He is only against you pursuing a temporary, cheap joy apart from Him.

Though it should baffle our imagination, God wants a relationship with you. It is an intimate marriage relationship based upon love and fidelity. It is one where we love Him and hate what He hates. And when we pursue this relationship by drawing closer to Him, looking to Christ in a spirit of humility, He draws closer to us. He gives us a greater grace. He continually fills our hearts with what brings true satisfaction which can only be more of Him! And when we have that we will have strong believers. Strong believers will produce strong families. And strong families will produce strong churches.