Transcript

Single-Focus

1 Corinthians 7:25-40
Sunday, October 9, 2005
Pastor Randy Smith

---

A story is told of a woman who had just finished shopping and upon returning to her car found four men inside the automobile. She dropped her shopping bags, drew a handgun, and screamed, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car. "Those men did not wait for a second invitation; they got out and ran like crazy.

The woman, trying desperately to regain her composure, loaded her shopping bags and then got into the vehicle. But no matter how she tried, she could not get her key into the ignition. Then it dawned on her, she was in the wrong car. Her car which looked the same was parked a few spaces away!

Immediately she drove to the police station to turn herself in. Reports indicate the desk sergeant to whom she told the story nearly fell off his chair laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four men were reporting a carjacking by an old woman with thick glasses and curly white hair, less than five feet tall, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

Totally positive at the time, this woman was led to believe she was at the correct car. So definite was she in her decision that she was willing to use deadly force if necessary.

Deception as we are warned in the Bible is a powerful tool. If we knew where we were being deceived, there would be no such thing as deception. How many times have we continued with a perfectly clear conscience, defending our position to death, when in reality we were dead wrong about an issue. It has been said, "The most common lie is the lie we tell to ourselves" and "the greatest of faults is to be conscious of none."

The Corinthian church was no less susceptible to deception than any of us in this room. We read 1 Corinthians and are appalled that Paul would even refer to them as saints (1:2). They had significant error in their theology and major defects in their practical Christian living. In our minds there is no doubt that they should have been aware of their shortcomings. But in this Corinthian letter we read not about their spiritual brokenness, but rather about their spiritual boasting (i.e. 4:7-10). How can someone be so wrong and yet think they are so right? Answer: They were deceived.

This morning I would like to discuss a specific area of deception that I believe has engulfed the Christian church. Have you believed a lie? Are you blinded to the truth of God's Word? Have you been deceived in this area? Let's waste no time in finding out!

Please answer the following questions:

1. Do you view single people as second-class citizens in the church?

2. Do you get suspicious toward older people who have never married?

3. Do you believe there are any advantages to being single over being married?

4. Do you think God calls and even gifts some people to be single all of their lives?

Peruse any Christian bookstore and you will discover many books on the topic of marriage, but you will find very few on the topic of singleness. And the few books we do find directed to singles, only address how to find a mate or how to "survive" in their present condition. I am personally not aware of any books that celebrate the position of singleness.

Both singles and married individuals have been deceived because our standard for reality, the Scripture, speaks to the contrary. Did you know that the Apostle Paul, a single man himself, actually advocated singleness? This morning I would like to shatter any deception in this area and provide four reasons that extol the blessedness of being single.

1. FEWER PRESSURES (verses 25-28)

Allow us to commence our study in the text. Beginning in verse 25 Paul said, "Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy."

After addressing married couples in most of chapter 7, the Apostle turns his attention to "virgins" or generally speaking, singles (never been married, divorced, widowed). And as he has done throughout this chapter, he first tries to draw off the teaching of our Lord. But since he has "no command of the Lord" (cf. Mt. 19:12), he offers sound advice and reliable wisdom on this subject. We must note that although he provides an opinion and not a command, any advice from an Apostle guided by the Holy Spirit should be taken to heart as dependable and trustworthy. As he made clear earlier in verses 7-9, it was Paul's firm conviction that singles are better to remain unmarried if they have been given that gift from the Lord.

Now this is not the typical sentiment of the church today is it? So why does Paul feel so confident about this decision?

External

First, singles have fewer external pressures. Verse 26, "I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is."

We all know that the early church faced tremendous persecution (there was a "present distress" as Paul said). Little did they imagine that things were about to get worse. In roughly ten years, Christians would experience one of their greatest periods of persecution under a sadistic emperor named Nero. The man refined torture to a diabolical act and his target was none other than the church. According to the ancient Roman historian, Tacitus, "(Christians) in their very deaths they were made the subjects of sport: for they were covered with the hides of wild beasts, and worried to death by dogs, or nailed to crosses, or set fire to, and when the day waned, burned to serve for the evening lights (for Nero's garden parties)" (Annals).

Knowing that these trials awaited the church, Paul said in verse 26, "It is good for a man to remain as he is." "When high seas are raging," said one commentator, "it is no time for changing ships" (Leon Morris). The principle is simply this: Due to external pressures, ministry effectiveness may decrease especially among married individuals.

How many guys are going to be zealous in their testimony for Christ if they know their martyrdom will cause grief for their spouse? How many women will be outspoken for Christ if they know their imprisonment will separate them from their children? These are not excuses to extinguish our light, but there can be no doubt that concerns for our family could hinder our boldness for Christ. The modern equivalency, "I will not go on a short-term missions trip until my children are out of the home" or "I will not share my faith at work because I could lose my job and the ability to feed my family."

Therefore, as Paul says in verse 27, "Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife."

Basically the Apostle is saying if you are still single, consider the advantages that singleness provides in your ministry to Christ. Singleness is a noble calling. Consider remaining that way.

However, if you are "bound to a (spouse)" don't accept the benefit of singleness and divorce your wife to fulfill it! The last thing Paul would desire to see is married individuals telling their spouse during lunch this afternoon that they want to be single because of all the spiritual advantages!

Internal

While advocating singleness, Paul is not advocating divorce and he is also not trying to send married people on a guilt trip. As we see in the beginning of verse 28. "But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned."

Paul makes it clear that marriage is a legitimate option. Married couples in no way should feel ashamed for their decision. Paul is only pleading with singles to consider the advantages of their present state before they rush off into marriage.

Another advantage of singleness is mentioned as we move to the internal pressures of marriage in the remainder of verse 28. "Yet such (married individuals) will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you."

In jest, Bill Cosby, once said, "For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle (many have) overlooked." Two sinners, placed under the same roof, seeing each other's faults on a daily basis, make any marriage more complicated than we are led to believe. I have personally counseled many singles that believe all their problems will go away once they are married. The truth is, marriage only complicates and intensifies our problems if they are not dealt with in a biblical way.

Norman Wright in his book, Communication: Key to Your Marriage, said, "Too many couples enter marriage blinded by unrealistic expectations. They believe the relationship should be characterized by a high level of continuous romantic love. As one young adult said, 'I wanted marriage to fulfill all my desires. I needed someone to care for me, intellectual stimulation, economic security immediately - but it just wasn't like that!' People are looking for something 'magical' to happen in marriage. But magic doesn't make a marriage work: hard work does."

Single people, have you been disillusioned by the fairy tale of marriage?

"The feelings of love and passion will never fade after we are married."

"Life will continue to be exciting after we are married."

"If I get married I will no longer be lonely."

"My mate will meet all my needs."

"If I get married, I will be able to help my mate become a better person."

"My marriage will be great because I'll marry a Christian."

(Taken from: Rainey, Preparing for Marriage, p. 39)

Speaking about the difficulties of marriage, Warren Wiersbe said, "The cheapest thing is the marriage license and then the price goes up." All this to say, we concur with the Apostle Paul, the potential for internal heartache skyrockets once we ender the covenant of marriage. Marriage brings many internal pressures. Therefore Paul offers some fatherly advice, "Yet such will have trouble in this life and I am trying to spare you."

2. FEWER PREOCCUPATIONS (verses 29-35)

So we see that singleness offers fewer external and internal pressures. Now as we move to the second point and the third advantage we will see that singleness offers fewer preoccupations.

Theoretical

Let's first look at the theoretical preoccupations. Beginning in verse 29, "But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away" (1 Cor. 7:29-31).

Beginning this section from the end will probably help us to better understand these difficult verses.

Paul says in verse 31, "The form of this world is passing away." The form (the schema), the manner of living, the mode of existence is passing away. Things the way we see them now are only temporary (cf. 1 Jn. 2:17). The point Paul is trying to make is that it's foolish to live for the here and now because very soon the very things we tend to value on earth will in a little while, disappear or pass away.

Now back to the beginning. In verse 29 Paul says, "The time has been shortened." I think it would be better to translate this clause, "The time has been compressed." I don't believe Paul is concerned with the duration of time, but rather he is concerned with the character of time. Because God has opened our spiritual eyes, our perspective of time should be different than the worlds. We should not allow ourselves to be squeezed into the mold of the world (Mt. 13:22). We should be able to discern what really matters in life and we should structure our lives accordingly.

Paul provides five examples:

Verse 30, "those who weep, as though they did not weep." Since we view time differently than the unbeliever, we should realize that much of our sorrow is over spiritually insignificant matters. How much to we weep over a lost soul (Rom. 9:2-3) or our own sin (Mt. 5:4). Often times we are not saddened as we should by the eternal things, but we grieve over things that belong to a world that is passing away.

Verse 30, "those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice."

Again, understanding the principle of this transient world and our value on eternal matters, we also need to ask ourselves what brings us the greatest joy. The pagans rejoice over a sport's victory (I've been guilty of that this past week) or promotion at work. We can be excited about these things, but do they bring us greater joy than a spiritual victory - A convert of Christ or repentance from sin or unity in the church?

Verse 30, "those who buy, as though they did not possess." Are we any different than the unbelieving world? What does it take for us to be content? Are we preoccupied with treasures on earth or treasures in heaven? Do we realize that our earthly possessions are only temporary? Does the way we spend our money reflect our citizenship in heaven? A devotion to possessions cannot exist side by side with a devotion to God. We cannot serve both God and mammon (Lk. 16:13).

Verse 31, "those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it." Is this world our home? There is nothing wrong with many of the non-sinful pleasures of our earthly existence, but the question is, do we overvalue them at the expense of our spiritual life, at the expense of what is really important? Are we outwardly conformed to the Christian way of life while inwardly conformed to the spirit of this world? Are we too wrapped up in a world that is "passing away?"

Now finally, the end of verse 29, "those who have wives should be as though they had none." Based on these other illustrations do you now see the point that Paul is trying to make? Are we placing too much value on marriage? Have we allowed our wayward hearts to worship the gift rather than the Giver?

I always visualized myself chasing Julie around heaven for an eternity. But according to Jesus, there is no marriage in heaven (Mk. 12:25). Someone once said, "Godly marriages are made in heaven but they will not carry over into heaven." Put another way, the marriage bond is broken at death (1 Cor. 7:39), but your bond with the Lord never ceases.

Marriage, as wonderful as it is, is only temporary and therefore should not distract us from concentrating on eternal matters of more importance. One of my greatest fears of marrying two Christians zealous for the Lord is that they will get passive in their service to Christ once married.

The conclusion of Paul's discourse in verses 29-31? One commentator said it well. "(This) is a passionate, heroic reminder that the Christian life must never be identified with even the nearest and dearest of worldly experiences (like marriage), however legitimate and appealing they may be" (Moffatt, 1 Corinthians, p. 93). Marriage when viewed improperly has a potential to distract from the eternality of the Lord's work, from that which is most important in life. Therefore, this is another reason to remain single.

Practical

From the theoretical preoccupations to the practical preoccupations, our final point in verses 32-35. "But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord."

Although we don't see it in the church, there has been an increase in the world of those who advocate singleness. Though failed marriages of the former generation contributes, I believe many are frowning upon marriage nowadays because of their desire to be free from obligation, specifically, they want freedom to serve only self.

Ironically Paul agrees with this assessment in verses 32-35, but he parts company at one specific point. Singleness is to be celebrated not because it provides freedom to serve self, but because it provides freedom to serve others. Without a doubt, single people have a greater ability to serve the Lord because they are free from the needs to serve a spouse.

Married couples need time together to cultivate their relationship. They have commitments to each other that must be prioritized. If they have children, much of their time is devoted to biblical instruction, help with homework, transportation to activities, etc. Devotion to the family (though God-honoring) does not excuse them, but obviously pulls the married Christian away from greater spiritual service outside of the home.

However single people have, as Paul the realist said in these verses, "(un)divided interests" and "undistracted devotion to the Lord." They are able to be more "concerned about the things of the Lord."

Julie and I met in a singles group in the basement of Moody Church in downtown Chicago. The name of the group was "Single-Focus." I have borrowed that title for the title of this sermon. It best summarizes this final point. Single people have a "single-focus" in the Christian life. And that is another reason why it is an advantage to remain single.

And along these lines, I personally think the singles here at the Grace Tabernacle are one of the most spiritually focused populations of our church!

So my question to you this morning, have you been deceived into thinking that marriage is superior to singleness? I don't think Paul would argue that one is better than the other, but I do think he would desire us to rethink our position and consider the advantages of remaining single. For single people have fewer pressures and fewer preoccupations that prevent them from wholehearted service to our Lord. Marriage is to be celebrated. Singleness is to be celebrated. But both must be tempered by the perspective that neither are eternal and neither should supercede our relationship to Christ and the calling to follow Him in obedience.