Transcript

Bringing Children To Jesus

Matthew 19:13-15
Sunday, May 9, 2010, Mothers' Day
Pastor Randy Smith

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Well, it's going to seem that I am violating my own conviction. Two weeks ago I mentioned the need to avoid selective preaching. Because we have been so molded by the world which is anti-God, much of the God's Word has become controversial. It is easy for preachers to skip over certain passages in fear of the backlash.

As we are working our way through Matthew, we find ourselves in another controversial passage this morning. And guess what? We are going to skip over it! Well, not really. We are just going to postpone that lesson to next week and cover the material that follows it this week. I know there are some purists out there who might be disappointed, but I just can't bring myself to preach on divorce on Mother's Day! The sermon title for today's message is "Bringing Children to Jesus." Now that sounds a little more appropriate! Our material is found in Matthew 19, verses 13-15.

"Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, 'Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.' After laying His hands on them, He departed from there."

What we have before us is a beautiful story of parents that brought their children to Jesus. The passage radiates compassion, tenderness and sympathy.

There is no doubt that Jesus loved and still loves the children. The parallel section in Mark 10:16 says, "He took them in His arms." You can almost picture Jesus - a warm smile on His face and that child in His lap feeling happy and secure. Unfortunately the disciples did not share the same sentiment. While Jesus put everything on hold to minister to the kids, they felt other matters were of more importance. This was an interruption. This was trivial. Therefore they rebuked the parents that brought their children to Jesus. Yet Jesus rebuked them in return. "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me." He goes on to say, "For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" (Mt. 19:14).

Jesus will take all who come to Him. Moreover these children are the model hearts that He is looking for in His followers - hearts of dependence and humility (cf. Mt. 18-14). The passage also says the children were brought so that Jesus might "pray" for them (Mt. 19:13). Do you ever wonder what Jesus prayed? The text is silent, but I would assume He primarily prayed that they would love God and follow Him faithfully all the days of their lives.

As parents we love our children as well. And I would say that our greatest prayer as parents should also be that they would love God with all of their hearts. Our highest desire for their life is not to raise a star athlete or a money-making professional or a future model, but to imitate the parents in our passage and bring our children to Jesus.

And such a topic is appropriate today on Mother's Day because the Bible teaches that the mother has the greatest influence in this area. She is the one endowed with the compassionate heart of Jesus, and she is the one while the men are out earning a living spending concentrated time with those kids and feeding those precious hearts with divine truth.

When we think of godly young adults in the New Testament, no doubt Timothy often tops the list. Paul spoke often of his humble spirit and godly character. And whom did God use to produce this mature and useful man of the faith? Listen to Paul's comments from 2 Timothy. "That from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus" (2 Tim. 3:15). And where did that training from childhood come from? "For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well" (2 Tim. 1:5). It was the ladies in his life who spent concentrated time teaching and living out their faith before him!

So how do we bring a child to Jesus? It would take weeks to fully unpack that question. I suppose we could give a quick overview of the biggies such as praying for them and having formal times when we bring them to the Bible and taking them faithfully to church and sharing the Gospel with them accurately. These are indispensable and we have covered them in the past. But since today is Mother's Day, I would like to be a bit more personal and applicable and relational - not even an outline this morning. I would like to informally touch on some of the specifics that are often overlooked in our desire to bring our children to Jesus.

What most parents tend to overlook is that the greatest impact we have on our children is through the everyday interaction. There is definitely a place for formal instruction, but formal instruction alone is insufficient. As Moses said in Deuteronomy 6, we are to educate our children "when [we] sit in [our] house and when [we] walk by the way and when [we] lie down and when [we] rise up" (Dt. 6:7). Life on life. Continual teaching. Using daily situations as opportunities to teach and reinforce a biblical worldview.

Studies reveal that teens spend 3 hours a day watching television. Preschoolers watch as much as 4 hours a day. Often they are educated by unbelieving teachers for 7 more hours a day. And then their interactions with friends are at times less than positive. Contrast that with the recent study that reveals teens spend about 5 minutes a day talking with their fathers (Bennett, The Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, p. 102-103). It is a question of simple mathematics; who do you think will win the battle for your child's heart? Most pastors are ecstatic when families read the Bible together and revere the Lord's Day and attend church 1-2 times a week. Though a good start and quite necessary, it is unfortunately not enough - a lot of talk about "quality time," not enough about "quantity time."

After Peter's speech in Acts 4 we read an interesting commentary regarding the Jewish leaders' perception of the disciples. "Now as they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus" (Ac. 4:13). Because of His around the clock discipleship, the identity of Jesus wore off on these men. Do our children act like Jesus? Would people make that comparison of them because we as parents are continually bring them to the Savior? Because of our everyday interaction is Jesus the dominant influence in their lives?

Maybe some practical examples of everyday interaction will bring some clarification.

Let's imagine you want an orderly home, so you establish a rule that prohibits running around the house. Children are told in the Bible to obey their parents. That means that if you have clearly established this rule in your home, you have a responsibility before God to expect obedience and discipline your child when he disobeys.

One day later little Steven is running around the house. But it just so happens that an old friend called you and you wished not to deal with the situation while you are enjoying your conversation. What did you just communicate to Steven?

The next day little Steven is running around the house again and he happens to come crashing into the tray where you placed his lunch. The sandwich maintains its place, but the water goes flying all over the linoleum kitchen floor. Steven is waiting for your reaction. You are thankful that he is not hurt and the water can easily be cleaned up. Again no discipline. What are you communicating to Steven?

The next day little Steven is running around and this time his arm sends your priceless vase crashing to the ground. You lose it and yell, "How many times have I told you not to run around the house. Look what you did. Mommy is very upset and she is going to need to discipline you!"

What has little Steven been taught? Obviously he learned that obedience at times can be avoided based upon the consequences of his actions. He learned that mommy disciplines based on her convenience. He learned that making mommy mad is much more serious than disobeying God. He learned to fear mommy more than God. Steven is not being brought to Jesus.

Another discipline example. Jenny has been unintentionally taught that certain sins are much worse than others. She has been well instructed that it is displeasing to God to lie and swear and hit her sister and steal and disrespect her parents. Her parents are faithful to discipline her for such actions. But unfortunately they overlook the times that she speaks negatively about her teachers, displays impatience with her friends, complains about her clothes and is never satisfied with her dessert.

What has Jenny been taught? She has learned to draw a line in her heart between sins that matter and sins that do not or "big sins" and "little sins." She has learned to set up an artificial standard of righteousness that she can keep on her own without Christ. Jenny is well on her way to becoming a little Pharisee. She is no different than the Rich Young Ruler who thought he could earn eternal life based on his own performance. "All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?" (Mt. 19:20). Jenny is not being brought to Jesus.

Since everyday interaction is our primary tool in discipleship, we need to consider our children's actions and our actions in everything we do. For example, how do we reinforce the priority of the church? How do we correct unbiblical attitudes? How to we relate with our spouse? How do we choose our friends? How do we determine which television programs to watch? Or this one, how do we give our kids directions?

Here are some common parental responses. See if you can discern the problem with each one: "Sam, take out the garbage now!" "Sam, I asked you yesterday and the day before. Will you please take out the garbage when you have a chance?" "I am so tired of taking out the garbage will you please help me?" "If you do not take out the garbage right now, I will take away your television privileges." "I'm not going to ask you again, Sam, take out the garbage!" "When I was you age, I always had to take out the garbage so you must do it as well."

Did you notice the flaws? Biblical parenting does not utilize manipulation or coercion or bargaining or guilt trips or threats or pleading or harsh tones or raised voices. Rather biblical parenting starts with the only command given directly to children: Ephesians 6:1-2, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother…so that it may be well with you." This is enforced not only because it will promote harmony in the home, be a joy to parents and safety to the children, but also because it is God's command. Obeying God by obeying parents is always in the children's best interest. God has given you as a parent authority, and it is your responsibility to be sure your children are doing what is right in the sight of God. To not enforce a clear command given to your children puts both of you outside of God's will.

So when children understand the need to honor parents, they will respect the parents' directions (of course with the understanding that the parents' directions are reasonable and biblical). Therefore, Sam is given a clear direction. "Sam, please take out the garbage." On the parents' side, there is no whining or begging. There is no foul or threatening language. There is no yelling or manipulation. The direction is given, and Sam has been trained to obey the parent right away with a good attitude. What a God honoring home! What a peaceful environment!

Now this attitude does not come naturally. Sam's behavior has been shaped by parents who have invested a lot of time into his life. They have taught him about authority and about God's Word. They have faithfully disciplined him in love when he disobeyed. They have set a positive example for Sam with their own actions.

You see, the ultimate goal of our rules is to bring our children to Christ. If they do not learn submission to parents, they will never submit to the lordship of Christ. If they do not appreciate discipline as a sign of love, they will never embrace the discipline of Christ. If they do not see themselves as sinners, they will never run to Christ for forgiveness. If they think they can obey in their own strength, they will never see the need for grace from Christ. This instruction is not occurring in the day care or the public school. And if you think all of this happens in a couple Sunday school lessons you are fooling yourself! Parents you are the people called to Ephesians 6:4, "bring [your children] up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." It is your God-given responsibility. And the everyday interaction in the home is the place designed by God to accomplish it!

Parents, think of you home as a greenhouse. A greenhouse is a place to raise plants in a sheltered environment until they are able to stand the harsh conditions on their own. You are called to shelter and protect your children. But you are also called to train them and prepare them for the world ahead. You as parents stay put, but your children are only temporary residents. They will one day depart into a harsh world. Will they survive the fierce winds of temptation? Will they overcome the storms of dark opposition? Will they drink from God's Word on their own? Will they bear much fruit for God? Will they be like Timothy, a useful and productive citizen for God's kingdom?

Psalm 127:3, "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD." Our children belong to God and are given to us on loan for a temporary period. God wants us to enjoy them, but our primary responsibility is to train them. He will hold us accountable. And the ironic thing about it is that when we train them, we will enjoy them more. Kids without correction are naturally selfish, devious and ungrateful. But when they follow God, they actually become not only a blessing to God, but a blessing to us as well.

Listen to the teaching from Proverbs: "My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother… Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it, get wisdom and instruction and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you. Give me your heart, my son, and let your eyes delight in my ways… A child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother… Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul." (Pr. 6:20; 23:22-26; 29:15, 17).

And while we are considering Proverbs, how many of us know the Proverbs and apply them to our parenting? Remember, most of the Proverbs were written by Solomon to his son as to how he should conduct himself in everyday situations. The more we understand the Proverbs, the more we can apply them daily to the lives of our children! And the more we live them ourselves, the more they will rub off on our children in the everyday interaction.

Do our children know that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord (Pr. 9:10)? Does your child fear anybody more than God? If not, the Bible says you are raising a fool. Moreover, does your child see you revere anything more than God? If so, don't be surprised if your child is following your example. Is the newspaper more important than the Bible? Are other activities more important than church? Is SportsCenter more important than family worship? Is your life marked by compromise, immorality, selfishness or hypocrisy? What is your everyday interaction communicating? You have little eyes watching? They will determine what is most important to you!

How about the speech of your child? Proverbs are filled with the proper ways to control the tongue. In your daily interaction are you helping them avoid many words (Pr. 10:19), foolish words (Pr. 12:23) and perverse words (Pr. 19:1)? Do you help them promote in their speech words that are wise (Pr. 10:13), self-controlled (Pr. 13:3), gentle (Pr. 15:1), thoughtful (Pr. 15:23), pleasant (15:26) and gracious (Pr. 24:6)? Proverbs 10:11, "The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life" Do you believe that?

It takes time to help our children with their speech because their speech is a reflection of their heart. But as Proverbs 20:5 says, "A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out." It is spending quantity time with our kids, listening more than we speak. Using their words to shine light as to what is going on in their hearts, and then having the skill of a trained surgeon to operate as necessary with precision.

The instruction is all over Proverbs: Do your children know how to select their companions (Pr. 2:20; 13:20)? Do they know how to appreciate and receive correction (Pr. 15:31)? Do they know how to control their lusts (Pr. 2:16-19)? Do they know how to enjoy their future spouse (Pr. 5:15)? Do they know how to pursue a godly work ethic (Pr. 6:6-9)? Do they know how to guard their minds (Pr. 4:23)?

I told you earlier that God gave you your children. He also gave you a manual as to how to raise them - read Proverbs and model them for the life of your child! Remember all of life is a blackboard to instruct your children. Teach them with the opportunities that present themselves and by all means teach them according to God's Word!

Parenting is not a task for the fainthearted. Julie and I have felt on many occasions that we have failed as parents. I still remember the time when we had just arrived at the church and one of our daughters had a major "meltdown" in the old facility. The problem was that we were in the back classroom and the only way out was through the basement that was filled with people. To save ourselves the embarrassment we smuggled her out the window!

And on many occasions we have failed ourselves to follow God's Word. Disciplining in anger. Screaming. Frustration and impatience. Failure to listen. Exasperating the little ones. Yet even these times are opportunities to teach as we ask forgiveness and seek to reconcile the relationship. It is a reminder that even parents are sinners and need to depend daily upon a Savior.

Yet we can honestly say that our children are a blessing. By God's grace we have sought to bring them up in the ways of Christ. The frequent discipline has subsided as we are now gleaning the rewards of our labor. We truly believe Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."

So often pastors on Mother's Day love to preach about the virtuous woman from Proverbs 31. A well-known story describing a godly lady indeed. But few know who wrote these words and where he learned the traits and saw the example: Proverbs 31:1, "The words of King Lemuel, the oracle which his mother taught him."

Mothers, please do not underestimate your influence. You have the awesome ability to shape the next generation of God's warriors. Don't let anyone ever deceive you that you could have a higher calling. The world is pressing harder than ever to squeeze you and your child into its mold. Yet remember, the hand that rocks the cradle truly is the hand that rules the world.

Make it a point everyday and throughout the day to bring your children to Jesus.

Key Resource: Everyday Talk by John A. Younts.